Finally, I was done letting it all out

For 2 weeks now, I've faulted myself tooth and nails to give up my business and my writing company. I have applied to over 100 jobs, had maybe 4-5 interviews from those, and have yet to land something that I know I'd love.😓

For almost a month now I've been house shopping and every time I finish looking I go home more stressed out and depressed than when I began. 🏡

Last night, on Valentine's Day, I went home sad and depressed. Hoping that what I chose to do would be the best decision for me. I drank my wine and cried in his arms as he rubbed my back reclaiming and reaffirming to me that everything would be ok. 💗

Finally, I was done letting it all out!

He stood in front of me, a shot of whiskey in hand, stating "This is for you. This season you're in is humbling you and teaching you patience. You cannot do everything on your own."👅

" Repeat after me...Walk by faith and not by sight"👏

I took a deep breath and repeated it back as I felt the world slowly release from my shoulders. I decided some things and I decided that I would give my business my all just as I have done in the past and that I would not give up on myself. What was given to me from God would be fully nurtured again!💪

I came to my office this morning ready to tackle whatever came my way and I have yet to break today which I'm very proud of. I found a solution to a project that is almost nearing the deadline which I'm super glad about. 👍

So to anyone that is going through a storm, for anyone that wants to give up, I'd tell you to reevaluate, pray, and keep going. It is hard to fight through the processes but you'll come out much stronger and a much better healed person with so much experience about life. I want anyone looking at me or watching me to know that it is ok to keep going. Keep fighting, keep living, keep breathing...it is only a test! You got this!💅

Anybody else transforming?!

Is anybody else feeling their transformation deeply or is it just me?

Is anybody else having these really vivid dreams with these messages being sent to you as clear as day?

...The last couple of days has felt like I'm living in a dream.

The things that I prayed about and for are beginning to manifest.

The reality of the fact that things are progressing is making me anxious, yet excited...

In the last portion of 2021, I tried to ignore it and act like it wasn't happening although I could feel it

But now, especially today, I feel all the urges to keep pushing and not be afraid

I feel the reasons and the "whys" concerning why God has never given up on me.

And although I know there may be people who believe God to be something other than what I speak of...

Please know that whether boy, man, or girl, crystals, sage, or holy oil I personally believe that it is all the same!

But back to the evolution...

House hunting, pre-approval, back to therapy, master's degree in hand, business thriving, daughter building character and starting to read...

She's actually becoming so independent that sometimes it scares me but nonetheless, it is confirmation that she is confident enough to grow and that is A-Ok with mommy.

I woke up from a dream this weekend that gave me even more confirmation to continue to push through what I may see as things falling apart. 

A big part of me hears God say, "How bad do you want it? Are you going to give up or go harder?"

If you know me then you know the ONLY answer is to continue 

...with new insight and new wisdom of course.

I'm excited about this transformation and how feminine I stand each day relinquishing the thoughts of always having to handle things on my own and appreciating the fact that I have decided for myself that I actually do deserve the very best that God wants me to have...

The only thing about transformation is the growing pains of releasing to be filled all over again...

How you have to stand in the mirror realizing that you are no longer the person you used to be...

So to me and everybody else feeling the transformation...

Keep going baby and don't look back!