Yesterday!

…Yesterday was different for me, but I loved every minute of it!

…Yesterday, I stayed in bed!  

...Yesterday, I ate snacks, and I watched TV until it watched me a few times  

...Yesterday, I opened the curtains and let all of the sunshine in  

…Yesterday, I kept my wine glass full to the brim, and my airplane loaded and never came down  

…Yesterday, I felt no remorse for taking MY time  

…Yesterday required no special clothes, so the bare minimum was what yesterday got  

…Yesterday, there was no laptop in site  

…Yesterday, music filled my veins and told all of my stories  

…Yesterday, music filled my home really loud as I sang as loud and harmonized as best I could  

…Yesterday, I felt no pressure to be and/or do anything that did not feel good to me 

…Yesterday, I decided that I loved the space that I was in, and I recognized just how much I’ve been missing out on by not sitting still

…Yesterday, I enjoyed the peace and happiness of my own company and comfort

…Yesterday was a turning point for me, just as this whole year has been  

…Yesterday, I decided that TODAY and any other day following would be consumed with deciding for myself about what life looks like for me  

…Yesterday was different, but yesterday was well-needed and deserved 

Harlem Fashion Row's 15th Anniversary in Memphis, TN

 “If there is an opportunity that you want and do not see it, Create it.”  

-Brandice Daniels

…A woman of integrity, of fullness, of complete FAITH! A woman who had a dream and is helping others fulfill their own. A resource, a vessel. Living proof that if you see a need and want to make a difference, it CAN happen ❤️…

What is Harlem Fashion Row, and why?

The only New York agency that exclusively represents designers of color!

https://hfrandco.com

This time last week, I was gearing up in my Nike sweater dress and black boots to attend HARLEM FASHION ROW’s 15th-anniversary show in collaboration with Nike here in Memphis. The day before, I went into the Nike store to pick out something “Cute and Nike” because that was the attire for the night. 

I walked in and was greeted by some of the most helpful people at an event I’ve encountered.

Me: I can’t find my QR code

The person checking me in: it’s ok (with a smile). What’s your full name? 

Me: Natosha Harris

Her: Found you; enjoy the show!

I walked in and saw people taking pictures, networking, smiling, and finding their seats. Finally, one of my friends (over 20+) years arrived, so I was free from seat-holding to make my way to the bar area for a bit of champagne and popcorn. When I made it back to my seat, the announcement that the show was starting. I was excited! …Did I mention this was my FIRST EVER FASHION SHOW that I have attended in life ☺️

First, Mrs. Daniels, CEO and the owner comes up to give a warm welcome, followed by Robert Shorty, Director, Global Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion

GLOBAL SUPPLY CHAIN & SUSTAINABILITY for Nike smiling and giving thanks for the fantastic collaboration, and then the SHOW began! 

-First up… COTTE D'ARMES'

https://www.cottedarmesnyc.com

Stylish, Unique, Creative Imagination 

-Next was… Nichole Lynel 

https://nlthelabel.com

Colors, Materials/Fabrics, Feminine, Motherhood

-Third was… Kimberly Goodson

https://kimberlygoldson.com

Patterns, Designs, Boldness

-Last but not least (Memphis’ own)… Prep Curry

https://prepcurry.com

Comfortable, Stitched, Colorful, Floral

SHOP WITH THESE BLACK DESIGNERS 🖤 

The show ended with awards, announcements, and accolades given by Deondra Guy. This 15th-anniversary celebration by HFR was one for the books. It was my first, but it won’t be my last! This show was way more than just fashion…this show gave “Dreams can come true,” “All avenues are worth exploring,” and “People of color do climb and will reach back to pull others up.” I left inspired and in full belief that all things are possible! 

Choose Your Hard

I’ve been wondering about life…😏

You know, just how does it really work?

I’ve come up with almost 50 variations of how something could go in my head.

And then I took a step back and realized that I didn’t really have all the answers after all.

Just some made-up crap that maybe I’ve heard or read about that “logically” makes sense to me.

Yet still, know that neither of those variations could very well be it.

Going off the deep end, feelings all the feels, and letting things flow as they really should 💆

Human error…thinking that I am in control of my life and what takes place in it

True enough, I know I can manifest some shit, but what’s that like without genuine authenticity of the purpose to be served 

11:11 hit, and here I am writing about being lost and yearning to be found

My wish, you ask? …what exactly did I wish for?👀

A few things, so allow me to enlighten you.👍

Life has been hard mentally, so I wish for a whole lot of peace and a sound mind.

Love has been a roller coaster for me, so I wish for love to lock in and make me his forever. 

The business has been forever shifting and changing, so I wish for more guidance and the ability to maneuver with the changes. 

Being a single mom has reminded me of the struggles I saw my mom face growing up, so I wish for a much better life for my child.

And did I mention that life has been life-ing 

So I wish to learn to embrace it more rather than trying to run away from the unpleasant moments.👍

Life is hard, but you know what’s the hardest for me

…being stuck in the same position that I was in yesterday 

Tomorrow is a brand new day, so I’m choosing my hard

The hard to propel me, my love, my life, my child, and my business to new heights because you haven’t figured it out yet…😑

You’ll never catch me in the same position I was in the day prior 

I’m reaching new heights and choosing my hard😚

 

I'm Grateful

 What a privilege it is to wake up each and every day stayed in my right mind…

What a miracle it is for me to realize the actualization of me making it to my bed each and every night…

…A roof, a refrigerator full of food of many choices, a pantry with some of our favorite snacks, a/c blowing good air, a few dollars in my bank account, and the breathe still left in our lungs

Thankful for the grace and for the mercy that is held up for me somewhere protecting me from all the things that I could not see

I am amazed at where life is headed even though I can’t seem to see past the smoke…

Knowing that it’s only there because some shit is popping off

And when shit is letting loose like that I can either crash and burn or learn to adjust my breathing and walk through it

…Not letting the fear capture me and definitely not holding any prisoners who have chosen to abandon ship and jump head first into the water knowing that they can’t really swim, choosing to drown instead

I’m thankful nonetheless for all the lessons and all the blessings that I have been led to and even the ones that may have gotten away

I'm thankful nonetheless to have been in the presence of what could have possibly been but just couldn’t seem to make due with it

The tears have dried up and the only thing I’ve been thinking about this week is staying in peace

Staying in a place that is safe for me and that could possibly bring me more clarity and understanding 

Dreams becoming stronger showed me exactly how things are to happen so I brace myself ready for the turbulence that was shown to me. I appreciate the warnings more so now, than ever 

The chaos, I don’t need

So I’m opting for the love and the peace that I’ve found tucked deep down inside of me and I’m sticking with that

I’m appreciating every single move I’ve made forward and grateful for the lessons I’ve learned taking steps back

I am allowing life to flow as it needs to and I’m trying not to be in control but instead cherish the moments that we’ll never get back

What a privilege it has been to feel, see, and apply the new me that has been birthed, and what an honor it has been not so much enjoying the process but pushing through it even when I didn’t have the guts to see it through

I’m grateful 🙌🏽

Mind Over Matter

 The mind is the most powerful source and tool that we could possibly possess 🧠

Funny how people can sit around and discuss physical health all day long or mention how someone may not be getting the exercise or enough physical activities...Always wondering about what someone sees externally but almost never about how someone can present themselves to be the most attractive because their mental could be just as sexy...

What you consume orally is important but what you consume mentally is just as important. If you tell your brain that you are going to work out and eat healthier, then the body will follow when that person is determined. However, if someone is telling their self that they are not going to work out and that it is ok to eat unhealthy foods everyday then 9 times out 10 that's what's going to happen.

What you feed your brain is very important and could be detrimental to someone's physical health!!!

...This is when this thing called "self care" begins to take place. A lot of people see self care as visiting the beauty shop or may be even going to get their nails done at the salon as self care, which is true to an intent. However, self care is put in place to replenish someone's mental health when they have become or are reaching the point of emptiness. Self care is used to prevent exhaustion and the feeling of being overwhelmed. 

What does self care really look like?....Telling your friend no when you really do not want to go somewhere, deciding to read 30 minutes to a hour (or more) during any time of the day, and again it could look like taking a 20-30 minute walk while you are on a lunch break or once you have made it home from a long day of work.

When you tell your brain something and/or meditate on something constantly it tends to become your reality. If you tend to think negatively about life and situations and goals then it is a huge possibility that negative will come from those things...BUT, if all day long, from the time you open your eyes, you are saying and thinking positivity then positivity will grow from those thoughts. 

Nothing is too hard no matter what you may be currently thinking. It is always mind over matter. What you think is a seed to what your world could potentially grow into. 

Mind over matter!💪

Lemonade Outta Lemons

One thing I am always going to choose is solution over revisiting the problem.

I try my best not to wallow in problems that may come about.

I feel what I feel and then I move on.

Sometimes I think I may move on too fast without feeling all the feels but I also feel like I don't have the time or space to be in a mood or be in a mindset that could possibly hinder my progress in life. 

More so than ever, I just try not to be in a space too long that does not serve any purpose in my life. I've always been the type to turn pain into opportunity. When I am upset, I take my time to process it but then minutes later I'm thinking of something different to do. I use that negative energy that I may have felt and I look for creative adventures to take myself on to create opportunities for myself and others.

It is so easy to get caught up in feelings such as sadness, hurt, depression, and all these other things that take us into these deep dark holes.

Sometimes these deep dark holes can take us under more than we may know. 

For me it has always been cry it out, write it out, scream it out...

...But definitely get it out so that the new could flow in easily 

When someone tells me no, when I am faced with incidents that try to deter me 

...I make lemonade out of lemons 😊

My point for this blog is to remind everyone that its ok to move past the pain, its ok to cry it out, its ok to scream to the top of your lungs but make sure you are turning your pain into opportunities 💅

 

Finally, I was done letting it all out

For 2 weeks now, I've faulted myself tooth and nails to give up my business and my writing company. I have applied to over 100 jobs, had maybe 4-5 interviews from those, and have yet to land something that I know I'd love.😓

For almost a month now I've been house shopping and every time I finish looking I go home more stressed out and depressed than when I began. 🏡

Last night, on Valentine's Day, I went home sad and depressed. Hoping that what I chose to do would be the best decision for me. I drank my wine and cried in his arms as he rubbed my back reclaiming and reaffirming to me that everything would be ok. 💗

Finally, I was done letting it all out!

He stood in front of me, a shot of whiskey in hand, stating "This is for you. This season you're in is humbling you and teaching you patience. You cannot do everything on your own."👅

" Repeat after me...Walk by faith and not by sight"👏

I took a deep breath and repeated it back as I felt the world slowly release from my shoulders. I decided some things and I decided that I would give my business my all just as I have done in the past and that I would not give up on myself. What was given to me from God would be fully nurtured again!💪

I came to my office this morning ready to tackle whatever came my way and I have yet to break today which I'm very proud of. I found a solution to a project that is almost nearing the deadline which I'm super glad about. 👍

So to anyone that is going through a storm, for anyone that wants to give up, I'd tell you to reevaluate, pray, and keep going. It is hard to fight through the processes but you'll come out much stronger and a much better healed person with so much experience about life. I want anyone looking at me or watching me to know that it is ok to keep going. Keep fighting, keep living, keep breathing...it is only a test! You got this!💅

Anybody else transforming?!

Is anybody else feeling their transformation deeply or is it just me?

Is anybody else having these really vivid dreams with these messages being sent to you as clear as day?

...The last couple of days has felt like I'm living in a dream.

The things that I prayed about and for are beginning to manifest.

The reality of the fact that things are progressing is making me anxious, yet excited...

In the last portion of 2021, I tried to ignore it and act like it wasn't happening although I could feel it

But now, especially today, I feel all the urges to keep pushing and not be afraid

I feel the reasons and the "whys" concerning why God has never given up on me.

And although I know there may be people who believe God to be something other than what I speak of...

Please know that whether boy, man, or girl, crystals, sage, or holy oil I personally believe that it is all the same!

But back to the evolution...

House hunting, pre-approval, back to therapy, master's degree in hand, business thriving, daughter building character and starting to read...

She's actually becoming so independent that sometimes it scares me but nonetheless, it is confirmation that she is confident enough to grow and that is A-Ok with mommy.

I woke up from a dream this weekend that gave me even more confirmation to continue to push through what I may see as things falling apart. 

A big part of me hears God say, "How bad do you want it? Are you going to give up or go harder?"

If you know me then you know the ONLY answer is to continue 

...with new insight and new wisdom of course.

I'm excited about this transformation and how feminine I stand each day relinquishing the thoughts of always having to handle things on my own and appreciating the fact that I have decided for myself that I actually do deserve the very best that God wants me to have...

The only thing about transformation is the growing pains of releasing to be filled all over again...

How you have to stand in the mirror realizing that you are no longer the person you used to be...

So to me and everybody else feeling the transformation...

Keep going baby and don't look back!

 

Welcome to 2022

Well hello, and welcome to 2022! 

...Already 19 days in and what was left in 2021 is just where it is

...In 2021!⏰

Why does every year constitute a new you or mindset?

I'll tell you...

Each year should produce a bigger, better you

Old goals and old habits won't open new doors so being intentional about your plans and about where you are headed is all a part of maturing

And let me just tell you what maturing and becoming aware has brought me...

Writing and book publishing is going strong

I've learned more marketing techniques including creating a schedule to stick to with business

My daughter is thriving and healthy 

Although that last month of 2021 she tested me

...You know, moving from the toddler stage into a big girl can be a very hard thing

She's 4 at the moment but I swear it feels like she's 24 sometimes

I finished my masters in 2021 so now it is time to move forward with my career as well as my passion I am excited about that

I can definitely see a Ph.D. in the near future...

My credit score moving into the "Good" range so it is time to start the house buying process 

And this blog will be utilized weekly to share and express👏

So cheers to 2022🥂 and a thankful hug sent to 2021 for all the things I've learned whether they were something personal or business-related

..let's continue to renew our minds daily and move forward with life👍

 

It's time to wake up

It's time to wake up. 

I've been sleeping on what God wants to have for me. All this time thinking that what I wanted was much better for me. On this roller coaster. I'm up one second, and then I'm down the next. 

Today marks 40 days that I've set out to be abstinent and let me tell you that I've never felt more focused, relaxed, and unbothered in my life. Not only have I abstained from sex but I've given myself some grace and have shown gratitude for where I am in life. 

It really has me questioning whether I'll go back to dating or not. All I know is I'm happy and I feel myself falling into the place where God has been wanting me to be over the years. He has been wanting me to focus only on him...to fully surrender and I'm glad I've taken this opportunity to do exactly what he has asked of me. 

Self-control has become a discipline for me and I'm actually glad that my space and my energy have not been invaded these days. I've allowed it once and immediately I recognized the direction that it was taking me in. So my prayer is for God to continue guiding me and seeing me through and that he continues to give me the strength to surrender and do his will because what he has for me is way bigger than I could ever imagine. I'm ready and I'm wide open for whatever it is. 

More prayer, more resting in him, less worries, and less of me! It's time to wake up 👐

Release

 I woke up in slow motion today and feeling super emotional. I don't know where to even begin with explaining why. 

Yesterday was a very exciting day for me although I cleaned up all day. Today is a day for work. For me to release whatever it is so that I can produce. 

Being a single mom and working from home has its perks but there are also times like today when I just need a significant other to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be ok. I couldn't hold the tears back so I got them all out, ate some food and took a few bites out of the edi lol, said my prayers and affirmations, and fired this here computer up. 

I know it's just the thoughts running rapidly. I feel like as soon as I am on my brink is when these uncontrollable thoughts take place to try and make me feel like I'm not worthy of where life is taking me. 

I am worthy and I deserve to be happy on all fronts of life!!

Got my to-do list prepared and I am ready to tackle what I can get done today. Not feeling the pressure as I did before. Just glad that I could get it out to move forward with work today because I literally just wanted to crawl back into bed. 

I'm up and working now! I decided to even go as far as writing this blog to prove that there are days when I don't have a clue but I also know whose I am and I know the strength that he has given me to push forward with life. I will not get discouraged and I will not quit on myself. I've come too far. 

So I release whatever it was that was trying to tell me that I was not who I am and that I could not do the things that I know I am capable of. 

I got this!

Leave Me Alone

 

I noticed how at peace I am and then all of a sudden some strange things start to happen. Blasts from the past are trying to come back around, people only trying to use who I am instead of being truthful with me...It's the whole attack with tests for me! 

I feel like I've handled everything with grace including giving myself the space to not be so uptight about the things taking place. In a matter of 48 hours, people have been trying to pry into my light as if it was "their" prize possession when really it is mine. 

"I wish you would come down off that high horse", he said. "I'm not going to chase you"...Another one bites the dust! The belief in someone else's head that I should really lower my standards to give them what they want...

"LEAVE ME ALONE", is what I really want to scream. 

I've sat at my desk preparing the tasks for the day. My anxiety picked up a little because things that were not in the plans for the day has transpired. It has thrown me off just a little but from what I thought I would have accomplished by this time of the day. 

Yet again, here I am allowing myself to feel and have a little grace. I just want to work and live happily ever after but the tests are some that are not up for me to battle. I bowed my head and said a prayer...

"Maintain perspective to stay focused and in the will of God".

So as I get my life together I'm asking and praying that whatever is not supposed to be there Leave Me Alone! Allow me the space to focus on what God's will is for me. Not yours!

New Years Eve

It is New Year's Eve 2020...

I woke up ready and focused on the day. In my head, the first thing to start was cleaning up at 6am this morning. Wash the dishes, sweep and mop the floor, clean the bathrooms, declutter my work desk, dust the rooms, and vacuum...

I said my prayers the whole time I cleaned up reminding myself just how intentional I need to be about talking things through with God. 

As I cleaned out my drawers to my desk so many things started to play over in my mind...The things I've accomplished, the tears I've cried years before around this time, the happiness that I feel to still be here in my right mind. I feel amazing! In my own home, my bills are all paid for the year, credit is sneaking into the 700's which I've never seen in my life, my business is growing, my relationship with God is becoming concrete, and my child is healthy and strong. 

There is nothing more that I could possibly ask for...Except for a husband, which God has already aligned just like everything else so it's not a worry. All in all 2020 has proved itself to be just what it was meant to prove...Hindsight! 

I've been working on myself, creating schedules, and making sure my boundaries are in place and that my self-accountability is sharpened beyond measure. 2021 will be everything I need it to be and everything God has ordained it to be. Im happy, I'm excited, and I'm ready...

Let's do this 2021!

Surrender and Faith

 

I blew out my candles and felt deeply disconnected but then I spoke a word... Not Without My Ancestors.

I believed again that God was first in my life. I accepted him back and needed to release so much that I hid in the back. I had to search for myself and heal! 

God made 2020 look so cloudy to so many people yet, he made things in 2020 vision for me. He said to work but also believe in him. I have been tremendously blessed in 2020. A few bumps and bruises but I've been pushing myself. It is so funny how we sit and imagine life for ourselves and then we are forced to surrender to what our callings are. I was told to use my platform for his glory. 

So here I am, both Natosha and A Mouthful, giving honor to The Most High for everything he has done in my life, everything he is doing in life, and everything he has already placed his hands on for me. I am honored to be a servant leader. I've tried time and time again to run away from my passion but I am faced with the reality of "Me" every single time I try to run. 

It is accepting that I am a writer, I am a great woman, and a mother. I am believing and working for a cause that is much bigger than what I've ever imagined. I write and express what is meant to be said to those who may not be brave enough to keep going after life told you to give up...DON'T YOU EVER GIVE UP! 

The hardest battles are given to the strongest soldiers. If you have been given a task here on Earth it is only right that you accept it, preferably now so that life can flourish for you. I pray that every single word I share with anyone reading any of my posts the best of what God has for you. I am surrendering and having faith that I am on the right path!

PANIC

*Loud scream* PANIC!!!

Bound to a situation that if I do not scream I am not heard yet I'm humbled. 

Easy and every time God has came through at the nick of time so why worry now. Living in a world when emotions are high and the tension gets thicker. Throughout the wave ride there are times when my hands are high up in the air and then the drop comes that makes me grit my teeth. The thoughts of wondering what to do next. Trying not to panic!

In a world when life has been made different from all angles, just upside down. Where do you pull your strength from? When I panic I tend to create more. I tend to push just a little harder. There is no way the ride that I've ridden for this long can burn and crash. 

Without a doubt in my mind I pull deep from within and grind it out...ALWAYS! 

"If you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans". 

I've always wondered what that meant until now. If all you had was to hold on to him and what his word says. I try to avoid speaking about my religion or spirituality but whomever it is that is sitting high and looking low be looking out for your girl. 

Who am I to give up on what God gave to me! The panic is accepting every single piece of me that God has created. The loud scream, the anxious panic begins to melt away. I'm leaning on what I know to be true and trying not to PANIC!

Welcome

 

My first night back to doing what I completely love...writing! And the first thing I want to talk about is gratitude and being thankful! 

I'm so grateful for the opportunity and platform to get back to it. I can feel that this will be an amazing journey for me this go round. I've figured a few things out and even unfigured (I made that up) some things out. 

Per the usual, I'll be dropping nothing but the raw and uncut feelings, emotions, and passions of A Mouthful. I'm actually so excited that, whoever you are, took the time to stop by and check things out. Bare with me as I lay it all out and you take this walk with me as I continue to learn more. Shout out to my family, my supporters, and to The Most High! I am tremendously blessed and I will continue to keep it that way. 

Come in, feel the good vibes, and sho
w ALL the love.

-A Mouthful