Anybody else transforming?!

Is anybody else feeling their transformation deeply or is it just me?

Is anybody else having these really vivid dreams with these messages being sent to you as clear as day?

...The last couple of days has felt like I'm living in a dream.

The things that I prayed about and for are beginning to manifest.

The reality of the fact that things are progressing is making me anxious, yet excited...

In the last portion of 2021, I tried to ignore it and act like it wasn't happening although I could feel it

But now, especially today, I feel all the urges to keep pushing and not be afraid

I feel the reasons and the "whys" concerning why God has never given up on me.

And although I know there may be people who believe God to be something other than what I speak of...

Please know that whether boy, man, or girl, crystals, sage, or holy oil I personally believe that it is all the same!

But back to the evolution...

House hunting, pre-approval, back to therapy, master's degree in hand, business thriving, daughter building character and starting to read...

She's actually becoming so independent that sometimes it scares me but nonetheless, it is confirmation that she is confident enough to grow and that is A-Ok with mommy.

I woke up from a dream this weekend that gave me even more confirmation to continue to push through what I may see as things falling apart. 

A big part of me hears God say, "How bad do you want it? Are you going to give up or go harder?"

If you know me then you know the ONLY answer is to continue 

...with new insight and new wisdom of course.

I'm excited about this transformation and how feminine I stand each day relinquishing the thoughts of always having to handle things on my own and appreciating the fact that I have decided for myself that I actually do deserve the very best that God wants me to have...

The only thing about transformation is the growing pains of releasing to be filled all over again...

How you have to stand in the mirror realizing that you are no longer the person you used to be...

So to me and everybody else feeling the transformation...

Keep going baby and don't look back!

 

Welcome to 2022

Well hello, and welcome to 2022! 

...Already 19 days in and what was left in 2021 is just where it is

...In 2021!⏰

Why does every year constitute a new you or mindset?

I'll tell you...

Each year should produce a bigger, better you

Old goals and old habits won't open new doors so being intentional about your plans and about where you are headed is all a part of maturing

And let me just tell you what maturing and becoming aware has brought me...

Writing and book publishing is going strong

I've learned more marketing techniques including creating a schedule to stick to with business

My daughter is thriving and healthy 

Although that last month of 2021 she tested me

...You know, moving from the toddler stage into a big girl can be a very hard thing

She's 4 at the moment but I swear it feels like she's 24 sometimes

I finished my masters in 2021 so now it is time to move forward with my career as well as my passion I am excited about that

I can definitely see a Ph.D. in the near future...

My credit score moving into the "Good" range so it is time to start the house buying process 

And this blog will be utilized weekly to share and express👏

So cheers to 2022🥂 and a thankful hug sent to 2021 for all the things I've learned whether they were something personal or business-related

..let's continue to renew our minds daily and move forward with life👍

 

It's time to wake up

It's time to wake up. 

I've been sleeping on what God wants to have for me. All this time thinking that what I wanted was much better for me. On this roller coaster. I'm up one second, and then I'm down the next. 

Today marks 40 days that I've set out to be abstinent and let me tell you that I've never felt more focused, relaxed, and unbothered in my life. Not only have I abstained from sex but I've given myself some grace and have shown gratitude for where I am in life. 

It really has me questioning whether I'll go back to dating or not. All I know is I'm happy and I feel myself falling into the place where God has been wanting me to be over the years. He has been wanting me to focus only on him...to fully surrender and I'm glad I've taken this opportunity to do exactly what he has asked of me. 

Self-control has become a discipline for me and I'm actually glad that my space and my energy have not been invaded these days. I've allowed it once and immediately I recognized the direction that it was taking me in. So my prayer is for God to continue guiding me and seeing me through and that he continues to give me the strength to surrender and do his will because what he has for me is way bigger than I could ever imagine. I'm ready and I'm wide open for whatever it is. 

More prayer, more resting in him, less worries, and less of me! It's time to wake up 👐

Release

 I woke up in slow motion today and feeling super emotional. I don't know where to even begin with explaining why. 

Yesterday was a very exciting day for me although I cleaned up all day. Today is a day for work. For me to release whatever it is so that I can produce. 

Being a single mom and working from home has its perks but there are also times like today when I just need a significant other to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be ok. I couldn't hold the tears back so I got them all out, ate some food and took a few bites out of the edi lol, said my prayers and affirmations, and fired this here computer up. 

I know it's just the thoughts running rapidly. I feel like as soon as I am on my brink is when these uncontrollable thoughts take place to try and make me feel like I'm not worthy of where life is taking me. 

I am worthy and I deserve to be happy on all fronts of life!!

Got my to-do list prepared and I am ready to tackle what I can get done today. Not feeling the pressure as I did before. Just glad that I could get it out to move forward with work today because I literally just wanted to crawl back into bed. 

I'm up and working now! I decided to even go as far as writing this blog to prove that there are days when I don't have a clue but I also know whose I am and I know the strength that he has given me to push forward with life. I will not get discouraged and I will not quit on myself. I've come too far. 

So I release whatever it was that was trying to tell me that I was not who I am and that I could not do the things that I know I am capable of. 

I got this!

Leave Me Alone

 

I noticed how at peace I am and then all of a sudden some strange things start to happen. Blasts from the past are trying to come back around, people only trying to use who I am instead of being truthful with me...It's the whole attack with tests for me! 

I feel like I've handled everything with grace including giving myself the space to not be so uptight about the things taking place. In a matter of 48 hours, people have been trying to pry into my light as if it was "their" prize possession when really it is mine. 

"I wish you would come down off that high horse", he said. "I'm not going to chase you"...Another one bites the dust! The belief in someone else's head that I should really lower my standards to give them what they want...

"LEAVE ME ALONE", is what I really want to scream. 

I've sat at my desk preparing the tasks for the day. My anxiety picked up a little because things that were not in the plans for the day has transpired. It has thrown me off just a little but from what I thought I would have accomplished by this time of the day. 

Yet again, here I am allowing myself to feel and have a little grace. I just want to work and live happily ever after but the tests are some that are not up for me to battle. I bowed my head and said a prayer...

"Maintain perspective to stay focused and in the will of God".

So as I get my life together I'm asking and praying that whatever is not supposed to be there Leave Me Alone! Allow me the space to focus on what God's will is for me. Not yours!

New Years Eve

It is New Year's Eve 2020...

I woke up ready and focused on the day. In my head, the first thing to start was cleaning up at 6am this morning. Wash the dishes, sweep and mop the floor, clean the bathrooms, declutter my work desk, dust the rooms, and vacuum...

I said my prayers the whole time I cleaned up reminding myself just how intentional I need to be about talking things through with God. 

As I cleaned out my drawers to my desk so many things started to play over in my mind...The things I've accomplished, the tears I've cried years before around this time, the happiness that I feel to still be here in my right mind. I feel amazing! In my own home, my bills are all paid for the year, credit is sneaking into the 700's which I've never seen in my life, my business is growing, my relationship with God is becoming concrete, and my child is healthy and strong. 

There is nothing more that I could possibly ask for...Except for a husband, which God has already aligned just like everything else so it's not a worry. All in all 2020 has proved itself to be just what it was meant to prove...Hindsight! 

I've been working on myself, creating schedules, and making sure my boundaries are in place and that my self-accountability is sharpened beyond measure. 2021 will be everything I need it to be and everything God has ordained it to be. Im happy, I'm excited, and I'm ready...

Let's do this 2021!

Surrender and Faith

 

I blew out my candles and felt deeply disconnected but then I spoke a word... Not Without My Ancestors.

I believed again that God was first in my life. I accepted him back and needed to release so much that I hid in the back. I had to search for myself and heal! 

God made 2020 look so cloudy to so many people yet, he made things in 2020 vision for me. He said to work but also believe in him. I have been tremendously blessed in 2020. A few bumps and bruises but I've been pushing myself. It is so funny how we sit and imagine life for ourselves and then we are forced to surrender to what our callings are. I was told to use my platform for his glory. 

So here I am, both Natosha and A Mouthful, giving honor to The Most High for everything he has done in my life, everything he is doing in life, and everything he has already placed his hands on for me. I am honored to be a servant leader. I've tried time and time again to run away from my passion but I am faced with the reality of "Me" every single time I try to run. 

It is accepting that I am a writer, I am a great woman, and a mother. I am believing and working for a cause that is much bigger than what I've ever imagined. I write and express what is meant to be said to those who may not be brave enough to keep going after life told you to give up...DON'T YOU EVER GIVE UP! 

The hardest battles are given to the strongest soldiers. If you have been given a task here on Earth it is only right that you accept it, preferably now so that life can flourish for you. I pray that every single word I share with anyone reading any of my posts the best of what God has for you. I am surrendering and having faith that I am on the right path!